taleb.co.uk

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Teenage Mutant Ninja Taleb

I'm pretty bitchin' with play-doh !!

Labels: Mutant, Ninja, play doh, taleb, Teenage, Teenage Mutant Ninja

Friday, April 4, 2008

Hot Rox Rocks My Socks

but Fucks up My Body Clock

If you are wondering, the heck?!!

Hot Rox is a supplement I am taking which basically makes you mega-hot and mega-buzzed which in turn makes you mega-lean (least that’s the plan)

It does have the small effect of being a heavy stimulant, hence why I am up at 4am killing some time and thought may as well update this thing with some insight of how it is to diet down hardcore (you know the score)

I had semi-sleep (still conscious but not very) last night, and today came home at 5pm and just crashed into bed but not forgetting to pop 2 caps before napping. Come 7pm woke up with a hugeee headache, I couldn’t stand anything, the tiniest noise was enough to send me mad but I preserved and proceeded to do my biceps and cardio, it’s 4:05am as I write this so probably take another 2 at 7am, cardio at 8, then the joys of training Saturday and again cardio on Sunday

Least there is some joy about the whole process, since I am pretty gung-ho about everything the results come fast, literally everyday you are like ohh I can see more definition i.e. today I noticed my forearms have less fat on them and more vascular i.e. more veiny

Visible veins are a funny ol’ thing, most people are WTF??!!! about it, I don’t really wear t-shirts (blame shitty Merry Ol’ England weather) but when I do and the veins are hanging I do get some odd looks. Here’s a pic I snapped of my arms to give you an idea bearing in mind it’s more sticky-out in realz

http://www.taleb.co.uk/blog/veinsblog.jpg

What I do find interesting about dieting is how full-on I get.

Example;

Today I purchased some Dark Chocolate as a fat source for one of my meals.

I chose Green & Black’s 85% Cocoa Chocolate in favour of others

Why?

The 85% part is simple, less sugar but the brand?

Have I become a Chocolate Connoisseur alongside Coffee?
Have I become more aware of my responsibilities?

In a word – no

It just comes in 100g block in 10 rows and the maths of the fats is easier.

True to my Clark Kent/Chic Geek intermixed with Superman/Adonis Alter-ego form.

- Taleb (munching on his choccies, feeling merry with himself the farmers are getting a fair deal)

Labels: adonis, clark kent, hot rox, rocks my socks, superman, taleb, veins

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Happy Birthday

to me.

bless Starbucks for deciding to host their free fairtrade coffee day on my birthday

I went to 3 different ones and had a free coffee and chunk of chocolate at each =]

Labels: 27th february, coffee, free fairtrade coffee, starbucks, taleb

Monday, December 31, 2007

You spin me right round, baby right round

I’m currently at the Laundromat (we call it laundrette in England, but I prefer the American term as is my way) and I’m not going to spend half hour of my life watching it spin round, baby right round and sing the song endlessly til the cycle is complete

What always amuses me is the seriousness exhibited by this fine establishments patrons.

Firstly, I’ll admit I’m very uncaring about the whole affair.

I only ever go there to use the driers as it’s the fastest and cleanest as frankly the thought of the bugs and dust in the air drying my clothes – no thanx

Before I start about drying, in regards to washing again to me I’m a wild one. I’ve even committed the cardinal sin of brights and whites together, yup I just don’t care me.

Then I walk down to Laundromat and I just bung my clothes in as they came out from the washing machine, put £2 in and let the baby dry away for 30 mins and by the end it’s all dry.

What really bugs me, is (now I generalise but it seems to be the trend) slightly ‘mature’ women who persist in taking clothes out mid-cycle, checking to see if it’s dry, folding it up neatly if it is otherwise leave it in. Then what REALLY bugs me, is they have 1 minute remaining but they insist on still sorting clothes out, and leaving the remaining there – why ? surely a minute ain’t going to make a blind bit of diff

ALSO, it’s a false sense of security as the heat from the dryers may lead you to believe your clothes are drier than they actually are.

Also, I get told I shouldn’t leave clothes in there – why??

It’s a dryer, I put clothes in to dry and in the words of Jerry Seinfeld “you can't "overdry". So, just leave the clothes be.

& when it’s done, I just bung it in and take it home, no folding for me, no siree

Sure, this leaves a lot of my clothes looking like Gordon Ramsay’s face but life’s too short for folding mang !!

Labels: dead or alive, Gordon Ramsay, laundromat, stupid people, taleb

Friday, December 28, 2007

Dream for an insomniac

I love that, also Dirty Pretty Things but anyway

It’s 3:19am and I’m wide awake and nothing to do, so thought may as well update this hurr blog.

I think the actual word insomnia is used too widely. Chronic sleep deprivation and not the odd night should warrant the usage of such a word. Personally I am mostly sleep deprived, purely down to my overly active mind that refuses to stop ticking. Oh how I’ve longed for a huge off button on the back of my head

Failing that, I’ve always dreamt of the idea that we could just go without sleep or at the very least have some sort of a regeneration/power-nap device that you go in for an hour and bingo bango that’s a good 10 hours solid sleep right thurr. Think of how much more time I’d waste =]

The festive season is upon us and therefore everyone is in a big kerfuffle over nowt. Perhaps it’s due to the fact I’m on the outside looking in but I just don’t get the big deal over Christmas. It’s an arbitrary date that we chose to give significance and therefore must have a 2 plus month build up to what is seemingly like the biggest anti-climax of them all.

I may sound very bah hambug but I’m not a very big on the celebrations especially ones that are overdone, Christmas being the case in point. Also what’s with xmas ? I don’t get it, I only ever use X for Kings X and surely it can’t be Crossmas ? perhaps Kissmas? but that’s equally as wrong

Regardless of whatever you call it, I do have to admit I love Winter. Especially at night when it’s just so serene and beautiful, my only real complaint is that it doesn’t snow (heavily) as much as it should. I should really move my ass to Greenland (perhaps I’ll find myself a hot Eskimo girl too)

On a side note, I’m in love with this laptop

I want to buy it, but it’s horrendously overpriced and expensive. I’m trying not to convince myself that beauty transcends utility but who am I kidding? Look how pretty it is, and carbon fiber !!!!!

I must leave you with a goodbye and hope you enjoy the new year =] hasn’t it gone quick?

Labels: dirty pretty things, Dream for an insomniac, eskimo girl, kerfuffle, taleb

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Writer's Block

mic check, one two, one two, anybody there?

shit, it's been a while since I updated this thing

my enthuiasm for blogging has somewhat dwindled, I guess I wasn't so great at regaling people with my life and experiences as I had first thought

add to that, I haven't really had much sparks of interest to add on hurr

or perhaps just perhaps, I've been spending my time doing actual productive things? I know, right? so un-taleb

Winter's coming up, I miss snow I remember going to New York a few years back it was amazing ... really thick snow, had to dig your car out of it was so much, doing snow angels .. ah was pure bliss

There is an ice-palace somewhere, probs numerous of them but one of the places I'd love to visit in my life-time

I have this fascination with ice, it's just so serene, so beautiful ... and this place is almost all ice, like some wonderful winter wonderland

right, I'm gonna shut up now ... I'll update this thing more in due course, til then I hope ya'll aint missed ya homeboi too much

which reminds me ... if you do read this on an even semi-regular basis DO comment, and try not to be annoymous about it, it seems I mostly get abuse from anoner's but is it like the whole publicity thing? all comm is good comm?

I'll leave you to ponder that.

Labels: taleb, winter, writer's block

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Coffee, Caffeine, Cocaine

I’ll have a fair-trade-double-mocha-no-sugar-half-cream-macchiato-with a lil heart shape on the foam

Ah, what a world. I’ll admit I was quite late into the whole coffee dealio

Before he age of 19, coffee was simple - from a plastic tub, add water (though in my case, triple milk – milk, then carnation milk than dried milk to top off) and sugar

Now I have to admit I do frequent cafes but am far from a coffee connoisseur, I mean I dig the taste sure, but far from being addicted & as for caffeine shot: well I already professed my love for pro-plus in an earlier blog

My favourite is the banana-java-chip frappuccino from Starbucks, tis indeed heavenly

I remember once I went in and asked the lady, “So, if I just asked for a coffee what would you give?” after giving a perplexed look, she just went along with it.

She would’ve given me an Americano, and then I began the quizzing – so what exactly is an Americano (besides being dumb blondes and fugly slothes)? Café au lait? Why is it served in a tall glass? Will you date me sometime? Ah the stuff I do when I’m bored

Speaking of caffeinated beverages –

What’s the deal with Coke Zero? It’s Diet Coke just more MACHO – GRR !! But seriously, if you’re the type to be concerned over being deemed a pansy for drinking such (then again, isn’t the drinking the sugar-free version of a soft drink a bit pussy anyway?) then don’t pussyfoot about and engage in some serious male bravado; Drink a cocaine laced coca-cola & may as well throw in some heroin there for good measure, make it a speedball coketail

Can’t you just feel the testosterone raging?

Having said that, I will admit to thinking that stuff, well sugar-free versions of Red Bull & Diet coke with Cherry being my faves (no thanks to fattening sugar, but sure to carcinogenic sweeteners)

Hang on!! Did I just call myself a pussy? Fuck !!

Labels: coke zero, coketail, starbucks, taleb

Sunday, October 7, 2007

Her

Her

Funny how we have to wait a seeming eternity to enjoy true bliss,

Moments that last no time at all, but set in your mind forever

A life-time spent, days without end, repeating with only their names changing

Till one day she arrives, seemingly from nowhere. Captivated by her allure, he engages her in conversation. Words exchange, he realises what an enigma she is and therein begins his attempts to decipher her

She asks what he desires in life;

“I desire you,
You desire the unknown,
It's more fun that way,
But not always the safest way,
Sometimes throwing caution to wind is what is needed,
Not the smartest way,
I’m obtuse.”

She rings – Her voice, soft, warming mirroring her words, even her silence, devoid of sound but not emotion.

The call ends, he smiles and goes to sleep

He begins to understand that he is living in a transient state. The days no longer seem so vacuous

Time goes on; they talk intermittently, the rapport still there. Yet, she can’t offer what he desires, so she asks;

“Why are you so persistent?
Some things are worth chasing
Some times you are wrong
Then so be it.”

He reflects. He wonders if he truly is wrong - He soon finds out.

The calls stop. She’s gone, back to the nothingness of which she arose from

It was only love in the abstract but he isn’t complaining, for the smiles were real.

- Taleb

Labels: abstract love, her, taleb

Friday, August 31, 2007

I felt vein

Get it? Har di har har har

Labels: bodybuilder, bodybuilding, taleb, vain, vein

Sunday, August 26, 2007

Talk about a shot to the Ego

Mention bodybuilding to anyone and they automatically think you are some bronzed, oiled up, thong-wearing hulk

I was at my sister’s engagement today and some people haven’t seen me for a while.

& wow, they bashed my ego so hard. One of the annoying things about being even somewhat big, is you can’t really hide it.

But still people have this expectation that since you’ve been training for so many years, you should be a desi-hulk, and be drafted off for the WWF (yes I still call it that, screw the panda’s)

A few of them were like, you dieting or something? Have you stopped training?

How dare they!! Don’t worry I shall remember thee, in a few years time I’ll go roid-rage on your ass. Call me small will you

Also, as luck wouldn’t have it … my best mate decides to pop by. He is 5’10 and 240lbs of ripped muscle, wearing a vest top looking like Ahnuld

It’s enough to make any man look diminutive & instantly made me an even easier prey – damn them!!!

Which lead to them, asking me Q’s like, “oh what happened you then?” – Nothing !

But around 10 shots of test & 50 IU of HGH a week happened to him.

Funny how he takes the worlds supply of growth, thereby preventing the lil’ midgets out there to grow up and remain freaks, while he himself can become a freak of a different nature

- Taleb (drowning his sorrows into a jug of protein shake)

Labels: ahnuld, blog, bodybuilding, desi, desi hulk, ego, hulk, taleb, wwf

Thursday, August 9, 2007

Tales of a Junkie

Hallo Blogggy !!! I am back & to start off, a bit on my drug of choice

So….back in my mentalist days as a bodybuilding bum I was a caffeine junkie. ; Not the Starbucks type, T’was Pro Plus for me (I wanted the hard hit minus the £3 price tag)

I took 300mg a day before my training sessions (equiv of 4 Red Bulls) so you can imagine… I was pretty tanked up but it served it purpose, I moved some heavy ass shit with my CNS stimulant buddy

However the half-life of caffeine is 6 plus hours, so even after my sessions the mixture of endorphins and caffeine still pumping thru my veins made for one Trippin’ Taleb. (those fortunate enough for me to call them, were all like "you just worked out, aint ya?")

The other ‘stimulant’ I love to use are smelling salts (tis like an uppercut in a bottle) & the reactions is really funny to those who don’t know what it is and giving you the “Look @ that Cokehead dude sniffing that shit!! “

I tells ya, the amount of shit we do just to get into the right mindset and lift heavy shit. Heck, I’ve even contemplated taking some pure adrenaline ;

Quote:

Shoot This !! - Deadlift 1,000 lbs

The random stuff I do thou, such as (all in semi-jest)

This guy kinda walked into me, so I picked up the fixed barbells & said , "Do ya wants beats with this barbell, bitch ?!!!"

& having such a vexxed look upon your face that noobies stay the fuck out yo way, and even move out the way of stuff you just happen to be in the vacinity of..haha

Ah good times, good times

Labels: adrenaline, Caffeine, Caffiene, Smelling Salts, taleb

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Princess Pavan the Pixie

Let me tell you about the wonders of Princess Pavan the Pixie (not her actual name or even a nickname, I just invented it now cos I’m kwl like that,)

Who is one of the most funny & random girls, not to mention, very puurty (say in a southern USA drawl) I’ve had the pleasure of meeting and I felt it only right that I should praise her in blog form. Anyho ;

If you’ve read my earlier post (The Silence is Deafening), I mentioned I wanted a fit sidekick for my own radio show and that would be she

In fact, we’re already in talks about it and we may even put a demo up for this here blog and broadcast to the world, and thus becoming be our stepping stone towards fame and riches, so I can lead the life of luxury include fast cars and even faster women

I need ideas for a show name, errm… The Fab Tab & Pav show? (but then I’d get referred to as Tab, which is just plain shit) or take our inspiration from the antiseptic – TCP !! but what’s the C about hmm Taleb Crushes/Captures/Chucks Pavan? Ok, I’ll work on it later but I do have some ideas regarding the content

We’d chat randomage loads, play a wide selection of music, make our very own song parodies & have such amazing features such as “Guess the Flush” since she has a bit of obsession with toilets esp of the Japanese Variety (thankfully not with defecation and we were both were sickened by ratemypoo.com)

Think it’s to do with the bright lights and calm voice saying “come, sit, pee”

I have agreed to join her on her expedition to Nippon (the native name for Japan, oh I’m so worldly) so we can experience what it has to offer mutually (besides the toilet part, I aints that kinkay)

From there on in, we would naturally progress onto TV, thou I feel we would need some time to separate and go our separate ways before re-uniting (for the fans of course, not because we pissed away all our money and became washouts)

I can just imagine her doing her own rendition of Michael Palin’s Full Circle, but whereas Michael would travel the world reporting back on the various cultures, her circle would refer to the toilet seats

I think I shall leave it this point for now, I make another post on the glorification of Pavan but for now, let’s say – she’s one fly chica

Labels: Michael Palin, Pavan, Pixie, Princess, taleb

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

The silence is deafening

I’m not quite sure when this particular quirk of mine started, but I hates silence.

I’ve always pretty much got some form of air vibrating, producing sweet melodics in my ear.

I listen on my commutes, whilst at work & when on the PC (which is a lot) got winamp shuffling away doing its thang, pumping out the funky fresh phat beats

In fact whilst writing this I am listening to Fluorescent Adolescent by The Arctic Monkeys, which is my current favourite song & as the title suggests is about the vibrancy of youth.

I’m also an avid listener of The Chris Moyles Show – tis sheer comical genius!!

I actually met Dominic Byrne once at Kings Cross station. Spoke for a few mins, asked few Q’s about the show, seems as he does on the show. I resisted the temptation to go “egg for a head!!” or sing a rendition of “He Don’t Need Shampoo”

Earlier that day I had met Syed Ahmed from The Apprentice (even got him to record a video for my sis saying hi)

Yes, I lead a very fast-paced showbiz life.

While I’m on the topic, it’d be hella sweet to have my own radio show in Yankeeland so the hot valley girls can all swoon over the hot british guy & before you ask – No! I don’t have a face for the radio. I just like chatting randomness (imagine an audio version of this here blog.)

Plus radio is more suited to me as it would allow me to just go into work in ma hoodies & munch away during the tracks.

As for timing - the breakfast slot sounds ideal. (peak audience you see) Thou this would mean me getting my arse out of bed early (an idea that does not bode well with me)

I should invent a device that broadcasts your thoughts, a thought-mic if you will. This would allow me to still interact & entertain the world, whilst also enjoying my state of semi-consciousness with the added benefit of never having to engage in my daily battle of hauling ma ass out the bed and into the studio again;

I can indeed have my cake AND eat it too.

Oh, I also need applicants for my sidekick. Requirements – Female, Funny, Good Looking with a Phat Ass (yes I know you can’t see us, but gosh darn it! I need some eye candy)

Anyhoo… what was my intial point again?

Oh yeh - silence sucks!!

Labels: chris moyles, Dominic Byrne, Fluorescent Adolescent, silence deafening, syed ahmed, taleb

Saturday, June 23, 2007

Fooled By Randomness

Is there such a thing as random? or does everything have an underlining reason behind it? even if not obvious to us

or ... is the opposite true? is life just a series of random occurances and we just try to explain it when really there is no such thing.

Sometimes I feel people can over-analyze certain things,

I firmly believe not all things have to have a rhyme or reason for occuring.. they just did.

Did I paint my wall blue, as blue represents calm, serenity, and for it is the color of the sea, it links me back to the ocean, to where from our history and evolution began?

No, I just like blue dammit !!

Labels: fooled by randomness, taleb

Thursday, June 21, 2007

hangarooo !!

so after, what were quite literally minutes of hard, mental effort, i finally completed all ten levels of it.. and what do i get as a prize? money? hot virgins? noo !! the kangaroo gets set free from his gallows...big fuckin whoop whoop !!!

trust the last Q to be desi-related...

Labels: desi, diwali, hangaroo, taleb

Monday, June 18, 2007

Post-It Note Art

Me as a Rockstar

Labels: post it, post it note, post it note art, post-it, post-it note art, taleb

My Guide 2 Getting HUGGEEE !!!

The past 2 weeks, i've gained 5lbs and I'm damn chuffed & below I've outlined the regime you must follow to become a beefcake like me ;

1. - Spend all day on MSN

You don't want to burn precious calories by doing menial tasks like work, household chores etc...

What others call laziness, we refer to as recovery.

I mean the other day, my mum bitched at me cos I didn't carry her shopping, and she had to walk the half mile herself.

She is so inconsiderate to my needs, how am I meant to be the biggest guy on earth if I have to do something with my body? Sheesh !!

2. - Chain-Eat Boost Bars (ideally whilst on RD, and washed down with protein)

Quote:

'nuff said

3. Laziness Continues Inside The Gym

Don't think it's all work work work, save the effort and find yourself a noob.
They come in handy for fetching plates, refilling your water bottle, taking off your t-shirt cos your too pumped to remove it, etc...

There is an abudance of them around this time of the year, trying to impress the mami's - psshh !!! Best place to look is near the treadmills along with all the other cardio freaks

Now proceed to give them an intense pissed off look (just imagine someone stole your last tub of protein, that's it !!

)

& be like, "Yo manz, can i gets me a spot?" and grunt and groan throughout, so they think "this dudez hardcore !!"

Also remember they usually train in a trio, so just brag on how big your biceps are, and that you could've won Mr Universe..but it was just politics that screwed you over (not the lack of physique) and they'll be so giddy to train with a real pro in the making

You've just earnt yourself 3 gym bitches - well done

Also - Don't forget clothing has an impact

Quote:

Believe It BIAATCH !!

4. The Other Great Boost - Ego

Remember you gots to walk the walk, and your pack of noobs can help on this one

Haul your ass to The Bench Press and bring your 3 noobs (one holding the bar, the other two on each side)

Proceed to load up 100 lbs more than you can handle, and then bench away (with your noobs straining to lift the weight for you)

& of course, close your eyes..and really believe that they just gave a yoda touch to the bar

Note: Grunt at the top of your lungs.. this will alert others to witness your wonderful feat of strength

Quote:

IT'S ALL YOU, IT'S ALL YOU MAN !!

5. Date ONLY petite girls

Lets face it, you need to do whatever possible to look huge

Standing next to a small girl (5 foot, 90lbs) will make you even huge !! =D

Bonus points for finding a runway model wannabe... she'll be filled up after a lettuce leaf, and you can munch on her burger she ordered so people thought she ate

It's a give and take relationship, such a wonderful bonding..helping each other achieve their goals

Labels: bodybuilding, boost, guide, humour, mr universe, taleb

taleb.co.uk

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Teenage Mutant Ninja Taleb

Friday, April 4, 2008

Hot Rox Rocks My Socks

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Happy Birthday

Monday, December 31, 2007

You spin me right round, baby right round

Friday, December 28, 2007

Dream for an insomniac

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Writer's Block

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Coffee, Caffeine, Cocaine

Sunday, October 7, 2007

Her

Friday, August 31, 2007

I felt vein

Sunday, August 26, 2007

Talk about a shot to the Ego

Thursday, August 9, 2007

Tales of a Junkie

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Princess Pavan the Pixie

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

The silence is deafening

Saturday, June 23, 2007

Fooled By Randomness

Thursday, June 21, 2007

hangarooo !!

Monday, June 18, 2007

Post-It Note Art

My Guide 2 Getting HUGGEEE !!!

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