My Guide 2 Getting HUGGEEE !!!
The past 2 weeks, i've gained 5lbs and I'm damn chuffed & below I've outlined the regime you must follow to become a beefcake like me ;1. - Spend all day on MSN
You don't want to burn precious calories by doing menial tasks like work, household chores etc...
What others call laziness, we refer to as recovery.
I mean the other day, my mum bitched at me cos I didn't carry her shopping, and she had to walk the half mile herself.
She is so inconsiderate to my needs, how am I meant to be the biggest guy on earth if I have to do something with my body? Sheesh !!
2. - Chain-Eat Boost Bars (ideally whilst on RD, and washed down with protein)
Quote:
 'nuff said |
3. Laziness Continues Inside The Gym
Don't think it's all work work work, save the effort and find yourself a noob.
They come in handy for fetching plates, refilling your water bottle, taking off your t-shirt cos your too pumped to remove it, etc...
There is an abudance of them around this time of the year, trying to impress the mami's - psshh !!! Best place to look is near the treadmills along with all the other cardio freaks
Now proceed to give them an intense pissed off look (just imagine someone stole your last tub of protein, that's it !!
)& be like, "Yo manz, can i gets me a spot?" and grunt and groan throughout, so they think "this dudez hardcore !!"
Also remember they usually train in a trio, so just brag on how big your biceps are, and that you could've won Mr Universe..but it was just politics that screwed you over (not the lack of physique) and they'll be so giddy to train with a real pro in the making
You've just earnt yourself 3 gym bitches - well done
Also - Don't forget clothing has an impact
Quote:
 Believe It BIAATCH !! |
4. The Other Great Boost - Ego
Remember you gots to walk the walk, and your pack of noobs can help on this one
Haul your ass to The Bench Press and bring your 3 noobs (one holding the bar, the other two on each side)
Proceed to load up 100 lbs more than you can handle, and then bench away (with your noobs straining to lift the weight for you)
& of course, close your eyes..and really believe that they just gave a yoda touch to the bar
Note: Grunt at the top of your lungs.. this will alert others to witness your wonderful feat of strength
Quote:
 IT'S ALL YOU, IT'S ALL YOU MAN !! |
Lets face it, you need to do whatever possible to look huge
Standing next to a small girl (5 foot, 90lbs) will make you even huge !! =D
Bonus points for finding a runway model wannabe... she'll be filled up after a lettuce leaf, and you can munch on her burger she ordered so people thought she ate
It's a give and take relationship, such a wonderful bonding..helping each other achieve their goals
Labels: bodybuilding, boost, guide, humour, mr universe, taleb
posted by taleb @ 4:24 AM
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