Friday, August 31, 2007

I felt vein

Get it? Har di har har har

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posted by taleb @ 11:47 PM 0 Comments

Sunday, August 26, 2007

Talk about a shot to the Ego

Mention bodybuilding to anyone and they automatically think you are some bronzed, oiled up, thong-wearing hulk

I was at my sister’s engagement today and some people haven’t seen me for a while.

& wow, they bashed my ego so hard. One of the annoying things about being even somewhat big, is you can’t really hide it.

But still people have this expectation that since you’ve been training for so many years, you should be a desi-hulk, and be drafted off for the WWF (yes I still call it that, screw the panda’s)

A few of them were like, you dieting or something? Have you stopped training?

How dare they!! Don’t worry I shall remember thee, in a few years time I’ll go roid-rage on your ass. Call me small will you

Also, as luck wouldn’t have it … my best mate decides to pop by. He is 5’10 and 240lbs of ripped muscle, wearing a vest top looking like Ahnuld

It’s enough to make any man look diminutive & instantly made me an even easier prey – damn them!!!

Which lead to them, asking me Q’s like, “oh what happened you then?” – Nothing !

But around 10 shots of test & 50 IU of HGH a week happened to him.

Funny how he takes the worlds supply of growth, thereby preventing the lil’ midgets out there to grow up and remain freaks, while he himself can become a freak of a different nature

- Taleb (drowning his sorrows into a jug of protein shake)

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posted by taleb @ 11:18 PM 1 Comments

Monday, June 18, 2007

My Guide 2 Getting HUGGEEE !!!

The past 2 weeks, i've gained 5lbs and I'm damn chuffed & below I've outlined the regime you must follow to become a beefcake like me ;

1. - Spend all day on MSN


You don't want to burn precious calories by doing menial tasks like work, household chores etc...

What others call laziness, we refer to as recovery.

I mean the other day, my mum bitched at me cos I didn't carry her shopping, and she had to walk the half mile herself.

She is so inconsiderate to my needs, how am I meant to be the biggest guy on earth if I have to do something with my body? Sheesh !!

2. - Chain-Eat Boost Bars (ideally whilst on RD, and washed down with protein)


Quote:

'nuff said


3. Laziness Continues Inside The Gym


Don't think it's all work work work, save the effort and find yourself a noob.
They come in handy for fetching plates, refilling your water bottle, taking off your t-shirt cos your too pumped to remove it, etc...

There is an abudance of them around this time of the year, trying to impress the mami's - psshh !!! Best place to look is near the treadmills along with all the other cardio freaks

Now proceed to give them an intense pissed off look (just imagine someone stole your last tub of protein, that's it !! )

& be like, "Yo manz, can i gets me a spot?" and grunt and groan throughout, so they think "this dudez hardcore !!"

Also remember they usually train in a trio, so just brag on how big your biceps are, and that you could've won Mr Universe..but it was just politics that screwed you over (not the lack of physique) and they'll be so giddy to train with a real pro in the making

You've just earnt yourself 3 gym bitches - well done

Also - Don't forget clothing has an impact

Quote:

Believe It BIAATCH !!


4. The Other Great Boost - Ego


Remember you gots to walk the walk, and your pack of noobs can help on this one

Haul your ass to The Bench Press and bring your 3 noobs (one holding the bar, the other two on each side)

Proceed to load up 100 lbs more than you can handle, and then bench away (with your noobs straining to lift the weight for you)

& of course, close your eyes..and really believe that they just gave a yoda touch to the bar

Note: Grunt at the top of your lungs.. this will alert others to witness your wonderful feat of strength

Quote:

IT'S ALL YOU, IT'S ALL YOU MAN !!
5. Date ONLY petite girls


Lets face it, you need to do whatever possible to look huge

Standing next to a small girl (5 foot, 90lbs) will make you even huge !! =D

Bonus points for finding a runway model wannabe... she'll be filled up after a lettuce leaf, and you can munch on her burger she ordered so people thought she ate

It's a give and take relationship, such a wonderful bonding..helping each other achieve their goals

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posted by taleb @ 4:24 AM 2 Comments